Should the song of the week be: “Goodbye cruel world!”?

Over the weekend, CBS radio news ran an item about the fact that President Obama had declared that the operations againstLibyawere “open ended.”  The liberal mainstream media, which were so very sarcastic and critical when George W. Bush was in charge of the Endless War on Terrorism, seemed content to let the change in status of the Libya aspect of the war slide past without comment.

On Friday the 13th, Associated Press reported that the Medicare and Social Security programs were in peril economically.  On his radio program that same night, Mike Malloy reported that he had read a report that stated that the Social Security program was solvent and had a cash surplus.  Malloy seems to think that news should be based on facts and not consensus opinion dictated by the media owners and publishers.

On that same day, theUniversityofCaliforniaatBerkeleyheld a commencement for this year’s graduating class at theLawSchool, and a demonstration by folks who opposeAmerica’s use of torture to gain information crucial for self defense held a protest at the entrance to the event.  They based their objections on moral and humanitarian reasons while conveniently ignoring the fact that “the Great White Holy Father” in theVatican, gave his <I>imprimatur</I> to torture about five hundred years ago.  Apparently the anti-torture folks consider themselves to be better theologians than five centuries of Popes and the College of Cardinals have been. 

Ironically, the Great White Father inWashingtonD.C.had gotten his legal advice about the permissibility of torture from a fellow who is on the faculty of the very school that held Friday’s graduation ceremony.  Apparently the anti-torture folks are better legal scholars than President George W. Bush’s team of advisors on such matters.

Everyone who becomes embroiled in the debate overAmerica’s use of torture conveniently forgets that previously in World History,Germanyfaced the same question and the Great White Father inBerlinreached the same legal conclusions that the Bush team would more than a half a century later.  Apparently the anti-torture folks didn’t get good grades in World History class.

House speaker John Boehner was criticized recently by about five dozen professors at various Catholic colleges for a lack of Christ-like compassion for the poor.  How would those teachers like it if, instead of immunity via the tenure tradition, they had to be reelected to the faculty by student and alumni voters?  How about granting a tenure status to Congressional representatives who have served five terms, so that they would subsequently be immune from the riggers of continual reelection campaigns starting with their sixth term in office?

Speaking of world history and infallibility for theologians, that brings up the fact thatOaklandbased theologian Harold Camping has stated that the world will end next weekend.

The World’s Laziest Journalist, who is an ordained minister, has to frequently interrupt his efforts to say the prayers which will deliver a stay of execution for the doomed world, to conduct a debate with Ilsa she-wolf of the WLJ Accounting Department, about existentialist philosophy.  She contends that allegations that the world will end next weekend are insufficient grounds for a weeklong profligate binge of expensive, self indulgence to go into eternity with flourish.  The columnist thinks that a moderate bit of budget-busting extravagance might be permitted before the weekend rendezvous with destiny.  Ilsa says that is an example of selfish thinking rationalization.

One project will be postponed until after next weekend.  If the world doesn’t end, we will attempt to contact Jonathan Kay, author of the just published “Among the Truthers:  A Journey Through America’s Growing Conspiracist Underground,” to give him a chance to give us a quote on the possibility that there is a secret government plot to foil plans to establish a Conspiracy Theory Hall of Fame (in Las Vegas?).

Speaking of quotes from an expert source, have you noticed that while almost everyone has been asked to comment on the shooting of Osama bin Laden, no well known journalist, had a quote on the death from either Mick Jagger or Keith Richards?  Do you think that there is more to this “inadvertent” omission than meets the eye?

The news that one of the atomic reactors inJapanhas gone into the dreaded “meltdown” level of malfunctioning hasn’t been widely disseminated.  In theUnited States, the amount of tornado and flood damage this spring has been statistically much higher than normal.  Was all this predicted in the Book of Revelations? 

This columnist tries to sporadically produce copy that contains short items that are amusing, informative, and entertaining in the three dot journalism method from the past that should be suited to the “give it a quick skim reading” style that the modern Internet audience tends to use.  We intentionally inject obscure, arcane, and esoteric cultural references in the hopes that such a style will attract an enduring number of regular readers and that such a base will provide a rational for management to excuse occasional attempts by the columnist to get “edgy.”  Whatever happened to the idea that “edgy” would become a major ingredient for content on the Internets?  Is it obsolete and has pandering to the lowest common denominator (celebrity gossip) become the standard of excellence? 

This columnist, this week, may spend a few bucks for a few “why not?” treats and may devote some time to offering Rev. Dan of the Music for Nimrods program on KXLU in Los Angeles, some suggestions for this week’s playlist.  Rev. Dan often uses a unifying theme for his show, so he may need some clever suggestions for appropriate music on the installment scheduled to coincide with “The End of the World.”  If playing Elvis’ song, “Old Shep,” will emotionally upset the listeners, who cares if the World is about to end?

We will also try to have a few bucks in our wallet so that on Sunday morning, we can buy a “hot off the press” copy of the Sunday New York Times to read while we have a cup of coffee.   Maybe we’ll find a topic that inspires us to write and post a new column.

If the world does end this coming Saturday, what will happen to the frequent flyer miles we accumulated on Pan Am?

The World’s Laziest Journalist fully expects that his dire warnings that “they” will use the electronic voting machines to rig yet another Presidential election in favor of the Republican candidate (JEB is my best guess) and that when that comes to pass we will be totally baffled by the fact that an accurate prediction on our part will receive no notice in the mainstream media, while a ridiculous “the World will end this Saturday” prediction became a part of the American culture in May of the year 2011.

The most relevant ending quote for a column on the topic of the End of the World might be a bit of folk wisdom (graffiti?) left over from the Sixties:  “The World can’t end today, because it’s already tomorrow inChina.” 

Now the disk jockey will trifle with our tendency to be typical Irish and get sentimental when certain songs are played and play:

“As time goes by”

“Ghost riders in the sky”

“Great balls of fire”

“Rebel Rouser”

“Get off my cloud”

“Running Scared”

“Age of Aquarius”

“A boy named Sue”

“Le vie en rose”

And Judy Collins’ version of “Amazing Grace.”  (Is it true that her version of that song can bring even a Vulcan to the verge of tears?)

The disk jockey will close out with his own selection of Jimmy Darren’s “Goodbye Cruel World.”

We have to go get a speck of dust out of our eye.

Have a “tune in again next week” type week.

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