Uncle Rushbo returns to form

Columnists of the liberal persuasion can often come up with a current events topic by listening to Uncle Rushbo’s EIB nonsense.  If you tune in often you increase the odds that you will pick up some subtle points that the other liberal pundits might miss. 

A trip to the Santa Monica Public Library seven years after the invasion of Iraq to do some long overdue fact checking, seemed to be a textbook perfect example of “lag time.”  We found out all about Robert Jackson’s opening statement at the Nuremburg War Crimes Trial and were surprised to learn that the “he didn’t know” bullshit was a red herring because the United States’ lead prosecutor had established the principle that “any invasion is a crime against peace.”  Gees, that sure took the wind out of the “he didn’t know” song and dance.  Or was it a case of “Don’t do as I do, do as I say!”?

Having listened to Uncle Rushbo during his Iraq War cheer leading days, we don’t have to believe what he was saying to be able to say “he sounded sincere.”  Yeah, he sounded sincerely crazy, but he delivered his lines quite convincingly.  Uncle Rushbo was (IMHO) playing “sane” just as well as Humphrey Bogart played “crazy” in his role as Fred C. Dobbs, in “Treasure of the Sierra Madre.”

What would happen if you used one of those little voice stress analyzers (those thingies that conservatives urge parents to use when questioning their kids about drug use) during the EIB broadcasts?

With that preamble, our credentials for evaluating Uncle Rushbo’s tone have been established and we can proceed to the premise of this column:  When Uncle Rusbho was ignoring his femme-Nazi philosophy past and heaping lavish praise on Sarah Palin as the front runner for the 2012 Presidential election, he sounded, to this listener, as if he had just survived an extended waterboarding experience. 

We did a rough draft of this column and wondered how long it would take Uncle Rushbo to revert to form and start manifesting his symptoms of misogyny.  We figured that he would wait out the week, at the very least.  We misunderestimated him.

On Thursday, January 14, 2010, we missed his program, but Mike Malloy played Uncle Rushbo’s conversation with a young lady named April from that day’s installment of “Redneck Philosophy for Fun and Profit.”

April did a rather commendable job of debating him, but as always, when it looks like a conservative is going to loose, he started cheating.  Uncle Rushbo turned it into a publicity coup by inserting “you have tampons in your ears” (the quote <a href = http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/daily/site_011410/content/01125112.guest.html> is in the  transcript</a> posted on Limbaugh’s web site) into the proceedings.  He had cackled about how he can infuriate the Liberal Media with a minimum of effort.  Did Thursday’s performance outrage Malloy?  You betcha!  Did it qualify Uncle Rushbo for this year’s <em>Enfant Terrible</em> awards?  That remains to be seen, but it sure looked like he had taken an early lead in that competition.

Can’t you just picture a schoolyard scene, of yore, where some big mean guy forced the fat little future radio luminary to “take back what you just said”?  Say, maybe that’s what spawned his effort to continually seek the most outrageous sentiments and spew them without any fear of ever having to recant. 

It’s obvious that the Republican <em>el jefe</em> has never heard of, let alone read a biography of, Robert Brasillach, who learned the hard way that what you say can have consequences.  He was not just a writer; he was classified as an “intellectual,” who got hizselph kilt when the Frogs conducted their collaborators trials at the end of WWII. 
   
Uncle Rushbo has bragged that he loved being able to exasperate the Liberal Media at will.  It seems quite likely that he wouldn’t appreciate being compared to a French intellectual let along one who was shot as a collaborator.  Nyahhh, nyahhh.  Uncle Rushbo sounds like a French intelectual! ! !  Nyah, nyah, nyah!  (Wasn’t Muhammad Ali’s rope-a-dope taunting so audacious?  Wonder what the equivalent move in the world of punditry would be.)

Earlier this week when Sarah Palin made her first and much ballyhooed appearance on Fox’s non stop marathon of Republican Propaganda, Uncle Rushbo heaved a sigh of relief that could (metaphorically?) be heard on the “Free Speech” historic site of Sproul Plaza.   

Whew!  He can now go back to blasting the broads and promulgating the official Republican position regarding women; “keep ‘em barefoot in winter and pregnant in summer.”  He might even give his <em>imprimatur</em> to Sarah’s new gig by agreeing to an interview done by her which will be touted as “scathing” and “relentlessly probing,” while assiduously avoiding any reference to his past disparaging remarks about the fair sex.

It seems as if some of his adoring female fans just can’t get enough of the VA (verbal abuse) he dishes out regarding women.

Fox news continually exemplifies the old Hollywood axiom:  “If you can fake sincerity, you’ll have it made.”

We just knew that Uncle Rushbo wouldn’t disappoint his fans with a long delay to the good old femme-nazi bashing days; it was just a matter of time.  He didn’t waste much time did he?  Wasn’t it in the movie “Mr. Arkadin” where Orson Wells told the story that ended with the punch line:  “Because it’s in my nature.”?

Now that Sarah (AKA America’s Evita?) has resigned as the Republican “frontrunner for 2012,” conservatives will hold off on anointing the next “next President” until after this fall’s midterm elections.  If the results (courtesy of the electronic voting machines?) produce a slew of Republican victories and a passel of restoration drama analysis, my perdition is that the (well trained) Liberal Media will set the stage, with a spate of adoring stories, touting a “groundswell” of enthusiasm for Jeb’s run for becoming “45.”

Isn’t the Voltaire quote:  “I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it” the official motto of the EIB network?

We’ve requested that the disk jockey play the Hag’s (an affectionate nickname for Merle Haggard) song “(Are we living now, or is it) 1929”.  The disk jockey has also decided to play the Stones’ “Honky Tonk Woman,” Jim Reeves’ “Throw another log on the Fire,” and the new Republican old favorite titled “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.”  It’s time to go down to the railroad station and pick up a friend’s mother.  Have the type week that earns Mr. Snerdley’s seal of approval.  (I.e.  “Yeah, that’s how country boys roll!”)

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