Pig in a (trauma) blanket

If Bill O’Reilly is looking for a new topic to stir up rancor and animosity between the tree-hugging liberals and the patriotic conservatives, he might be delighted if he reads this column.  PETA, on Wednesday August 12, 2009, held a protest against the treatment of pigs at Camp Pendleton.

The pigs according to information found online Thursday, are slashed with scalpels so that medics-in-training can then treat them in practice sessions.  Later, if they survive, they are, according to the activists, shot and then treated for that medical condition.  If they are still alive after that, they are euthanized, according to information found online.

The PETA people contend that this constitutes inhumane treatment of animals.

Mr. O’Reilly would probably be the loudest to proclaim that the use of pigs save lives by helping to prepare the medics for similar emergencies they will face (with human victims)in combat is acceptable to him and most of his listeners.

It seems likely that if Mr. O’Reilly takes ups this cause; his efforts will be seconded by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

We came across this contentious news item via a photo seen in the Los Angeles Times for Thursday August 13, 2009.  We did a Google news check and found about 20 suggested URL’s and we immediately knew that we wanted to be ahead of the curve on a news item that seems likely to stir up a goodly amount of spirited debate.

While fact checking for this column we learned that there is a rugby team in Portland named the Portland Pigs and that the mascot for the Lehigh Valley baseball team is the Iron Pig.

PETA seems very adept at riling up O’Reilly and others of his ilk and those radio personalities, in turn, seem to inspire the tree huggers to higher levels of commitment.

Recently this columnist has been called to task by an anonymous editor (when attempting to cross post a different weekend column) for emulating the columnist style of Walter Winchell and Herb Caen by using several short items in one installment, so we are hesitant to wonder if the pigs who get cut, shot, and then (if they are still alive) euthanized, would use Australian outlaw Ned Kelly as their role model.  Kelly was shot 28 times while being arrested.  When he was well enough to stand trial they tried him and sentenced him to death by hanging. 

Another reason we like to digress is because it is a way to plant some “Google bait” to help lure new readers to this website.  Sure the regulars know what to expect, but sometimes if we insert a bit of trivia into the column (such as the fact that Fremantle Western Australia has erected a <a href =https://worldslaziestjournalist.wordpress.com/2008/12/27/rock-stars-statue/>statue of Bon Scott</a>, [there’s not too many pictures of that statue to be found online] lead singer for AC-DC because he grew up in their town) people who wouldn’t ordinarily read this web site might (since there isn’t much online about that statue) come to this site and find out that the content pleases them and then they might want to book mark it and come back.  Plus that rationale gives the columnist a convenient excuse to run the obscure information that might not please that aforementioned editor. 

We also know that trauma blankets are used for burn victims, but we couldn’t come up with a better (cuter) headline.

For this week’s end of column quote we will include a snippet of dialogue from “Pulp Fiction:
Jules: “Pigs are filthy animals. I don’t eat filthy animals.”
Vincent: “Yeah, but bacon tastes good. Pork chops taste good.”

This week, before he plays some music, the disk jockey is recommending that all his fans go to Youtube and look up the vignette of the guitar duel between Les Paul (RIP) and his wife Mary Ford.  To end this column he will play Pink Floyd’s “Pigs on the Wing,” “Old MacDonald had a farm,” and Mitch Miller’s song “Be Kind to Your Web-footed Friends.”  It’s time for us to say:  “That’s all folks!”  Have an “all you can eat” type week.

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