The fellow had dual citizenship in the world of Journalism.  He was the editor of the weekly Santa Monica Independent Journal Newspapers and simultaneously functioned as a reporter for Time Magazine’s Los Angeles bureau on a “stringer” basis.  Without a Press Pass he would have been in a difficult dilemma but with it, he had no problems about getting the story for Time Magazine.  Good thing he had the Press Pass.

Initially Doug Brew had been reluctant to do all the bureaucratic work necessary to get Press Passes for the news staff at the weekly Independent Journal Newspapers in Santa Monica, but one day, after being challenged by a Santa Monica Police Department officer, while riding his bicycle to the IJ office, he relented and agreed it might be good to have the Press Passes “just in case.”  The other fellow on the news department staff had been very enthusiastic about getting the Press Passes and made the suggestion about getting them. 

After the PSA incident, Brew was glad that he had been convinced to make the effort to secure the Press Passes and verbally expressed that sentiment to a co-worker.  Little did he know that would provide the led for a column on the Internets about 35 years later.

“♫Those were the days, my friend, we thought they’d never end . . . ♫”

The process included being fingerprinted and photographed and having the editor’s application submitted by the Publisher.

In 1973, there were three young men who worked for the IJ newspapers.  One went on to become one of the people listed toward the top of the Playboy masthead; Brew went on to become Time Magazine’s White House correspondent during the Reagan administration.  The third one went on to International Fame as the World’s Laziest Journalist. 

According to Gavin Aronsen’s first hand account of the events (for the <I>Mother Jones</I> website[Click this link:  <a href =http://motherjones.com/mojo/2012/01/journalists-arrested-occupy-oakland>http://motherjones.com/mojo/2012/01/journalists-arrested-occupy-oakland</a>) that occurred in Oakland on Saturday night, a woman reporter with a Press Pass issued by the San Francisco Police Department was detained by Oakland Police Department.  The OPD pointed out that she was in Oakland not Frisco before arresting her.

Initial reports state that there were six reporters who were taken to various jail facilities in the Alameda County area as part of the mass arrests in Oakland. 

Subsequently the reporters were released.

Apparently the principle of “Interline Courtesy” among various Police agencies has changed since the Seventies.

Has Oakland Police Department unilaterally adopted theLas Vegasphilosophy of “What Happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” or is there something else more ominous and disturbing going on all across theUSA, that could form the basis for a trend-spotting story?

If William L. Shirer, who wrote “Berlin Diary,” were still alive this writer would try to contact him and see if he could provide any insights or make any comparisons to events he witnessed years ago to the events that happened Saturday night, but we can’t do that.   He is dead and so we will let it go at that.

The reader is invited to formulate whatever “jump to conclusions” analysis he (or she) wants to accompany this report.

Won’t Uncle Rushbo, and other talk show hosts of that ilk, try to whip up a hysterical level of <I>schadenfreude</I> concerning the trials and tribulations of the reporters and then goad the rubes into voting for a Conservative?

To be continued . . .

Item no. one is the fact that after admitting that he had asked his wife for an open marriage, Newt Gingrich won the South Carolina Primary.

Item no. two:  Playboy magazine is about to begin marking the fiftieth anniversary of the publication of the Playboy Philosophy series.

Item no. three:  A caller to the Norm Goldman radio talk show pointed out that the Republicans discredited Herman Kane because of clandestine love affairs, but the Republicans are giving Newt the old “See no evil” response for his request for an open marriage.  The caller automatically accused the Republicans of being racist in their diverse reactions.  It never occurred to that caller that the difference is the transparency of the need for diversity.  Kane relied on deceit.  Newt prefers the philosophy of openness and Swinging.

Item no. four:  We found our paperback copy of Gay Talese’s book “Thy Neighbor’s Wife.”

Since a large portion of journalism inAmericathese days is based on celebrity gossip wouldn’t a Swinging couple in the White House be a godsend to the Political desks in newsrooms all across theUSA?  Can you just imagine how enthusiastic the coverage of a visit by a Swinging first family to French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s home would be?

Newt could elicit (not to be confused with the word illicit) comparisons to JFK by quipping to the press:  “I’m the man who is accompanying Callista to Paris.”

Didn’t the wife of a Canadian Prime Minister generate extensive gossip and criticism of her husband by being a fan of the Rolling Stones band, a few years back? 

Reality TV is very popular on cable these days.  Perhaps it’s time for an adventuresome production company to make a deal with a swingers group?  How about a series titled “Return to the A-Frame”? 

If you think that despising the boss is a universal manifestation of a natural workers’ tendency then you have never talked with writers who have gotten a check from Larry Flynt Publications.  Some Conservative Compassionate Christians may not (openly) agree with Flynt’s liberal attitude toward sex, but isn’t it remarkable when all of a fellow’s employees speak well of the boss? 

Do people who get a chance to visit thePlayboyMansionbrag about the experience or do they treat it as if it were a shameful incident which must quickly be forgotten?  Who doesn’t want an invitation to visit there?  Would Bishop Sheen have turned down such an opportunity?

Are Hugh Hefner’s employees inundated with requests for a chance to see their boss’ home?  Is this year’s Playboy Mansion Halloween Party already booked to capacity?  Remind us to ask a former co-worker at the Independent Journal that question the next time we visitSanta Monica.

On page 220 of the Dell Book paperback edition of “Thy Neighbors Wife,” Gay Talese wrote:  “The Berkeley Free Speech Movement in 1965, which forged  its slogan from the initials of a four-letter word (“Freedom Under Clark Kerr”), as well as civil rights protests in the South, and the subsequent anti-war demonstrations and marches on Washington – the sit-ins, the teach-ins, the love-ins – all were manifestations of a new generation that was less sexually repressed than its ancestors and also less willing to respect political authority and social tradition, color barriers and draft boards, deans and priests.”

Wouldn’t the people who graduated in the Class of 1965, just now be getting to be Presidential Candidate age?  What college did Newt attend?  Could it be that the flower power generation is just now getting its chance to do what they said LBJ and Nixon couldn’t or wouldn’t do? 

Is Newt just now getting ready to bring the party that once included George Romney, into the era of the Playboy Philosophy . . . or has Newt been “brainwashed”?

While we are on the subject, aren’t all the top Republicans encouraging the current field of candidates to tear each other apart?  Crocodile tears?  Where are the candidates spending their campaign funds?  On ads, right?  Who owns the newspapers and TV stations around theUSA?  Usually it’s conservative Republicans, eh?  If the top Republicans are raking in the ad revenue stirred up by the continuing series of Primary cage matches and if the same media moguls plan to pull a fast one and substitute someone else as the candidate, then, metaphorically speaking, aren’t a lot of donors to the various Republican candidates “getting their ashes hauled” by the “three card Monte” style subterfuge? 

We thought that all the boys in the One Percent Club had mutual non-aggression pacts with each other and the idea was to be relentless in squeezing every last dollar from every last bank account of the Ninty Nine Percenters.

If (hypothetically alert!) there is some kind of nefarious plan to put someone other than the fab four at the top of the ticket, then aren’t some members of the One Percent Club committing a fraud that will relieve some of their fellow club members of some serious amounts of money?  Why donate to a fellow who is predestined not to get the nomination?  Why should a candidate who is being cheated out of any fair chance to be nominated spend ad dollars to try to get spurious (if you don’t know what that word means ask a Fox News fan) votes? 

It’s OK for the Republicans to fool Democrats into thinking that the Presidential elections (2000 and 2004 for instance) are not rigged, but wouldn’t it be dishonest for someone to rig the Republican Primary Election process?  Isn’t there a secret “honor among thieves” clause in the Republican Party secret handbook that precludes such a fiendish double-cross?  

On Monday, January 30, 2012, the New York Times featured a story on page one (above the fold), written by Jeff Zeleny, that drew attention to the curious fact that Jeb Bush, has remained curiously silent (above the fray?) about endorsing any candidate to help draw votes in Tuesday’s Florida Primary.  Isn’t it intriguing that such an influential Republican who served as that state’s governor isn’t making an endorsement? 

Is this an example of the B’rer Rabbit’s “Please don’t throw me in that briar patch” philosophy being applied to politics?

Haven’t Romney and Gingrich destroyed each other’s ability to represent the entire Party membership?  Doesn’t that indicate that a spectator on the sidelines who didn’t get into the mudslinging free-for-all would be much better qualified to use the word “we” when giving an acceptance speech to the 2012 Republican National Convention?  

Meanwhile returning to this column’s topic:  Did Gingrich see and enjoy the heist flick “Bandits”?  A trio of bank robbers had an unconventional love relationship.  It sounds like just the kind of action adventure movie that would appeal to open-minded folks.  What does Mitt think about that flick?  We’d love to hear his review of “Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.”

The other most likely person to get the Republican nomination is a fellow who belongs to a religion that permits polygamy.  Either way, it seems that the Republican Party has to realize that if their candidate wins the Presidential race, the Grand Old Party is going to have to reconfigure its policy on the Sanctity of Marriage .

This column’s closing quote was provided by someone who shall be called “an anonymous source,” and was heard as it was uttered by the World’s Laziest Journalist.  “When I saw a picture of my wife in her underwear, sitting on Mick Jagger’s lap, I knew my marriage was over.”  (Wasn’t the Stones’ best selling single, “Angie,” written about David Bowie’s wife?)

Now the disk jockey will play Jimmy Buffet’s song “Let’s get drunk and screw,” the Beatles’ song “Let’s do it in the road,” and Francis Albert Sinatra’s album “Songs for  Swingin’ Lovers.”  We have to get back to reading a fabulous book titled “Velvet Underground.”  As the leader of the rat pack would say:  “Have a ring-ding-ding” week.

Stories have been emerging in the regional news media that predict that the budgetary crisis in the city ofOaklandwill soon require a need to bring some national control over the Oakland Police Department.

Since the topic of what happened in Oakland starting at noon on Saturday, January 28, 2012 will be a popular subject for use on the Internets during the coming week, and since a columnist/photographer, who contributes regularly to this website, was a witness with a Nikon Coolpix for the first four hours of the Move In Day Protest, we will provide readers with a subjective report on Oakland’s latest contribution to the evolving history of the Occupy Movement.

Since the World’s Laziest Journalist is particularly fond of the coffee sold at De Lauer’s Newsstand (you read that right it’s an old fashioned store that specializes in newspapers and magazines) we went to Oakland and arrived about a half hour before the noon event was scheduled to begin.

There was about a hundred protesters gathered on the North side of Frank Ogawa plaza when we arrived.  We took the opportunity to take some photos of the signs and artwork because, even if the event turned out to be a total non-story, pictures of the signs would be the kind of feature photos that one website could use later.

Just before noon a fellow came up to the World’s Laziest Journalist and requested that we not take photos that showed protesters’ faces. 

At morning coffee earlier inBerkeley, a fellow inBerkeleypredicted that there would be no arrests would be made at the day’s event.

The OPD (Oakland Police Department) got the first arrest on the scoreboard before the event was five minutes old thus giving writers the opportunity to use a sports metaphor such as a kick-off return that produces a touchdown.

The protesters took a winding march route that led them to the campus of LaneyCollegewhere it looked like, to this columnist, they were cordoned off.  Then protesters who were passing by reported that local news media was reporting that the protesters had moved to a new location to the north of the College.

At the college one police officer advised citizens to stay as far away from the event as they could.  Recently in similar news events in the greaterSan FranciscoBayarea, reporters with press credentials have been detained along with protesters and so the advice seemed, to a fellow who no longer carries a current press pass, like sound advice.

If nothing else, the police and protesters seem unanimous on the idea that photographers should get lost.

When this photographer covered an event known as the Venice Canal Riot in the Seventies it didn’t seem like fatigue was a factor in the day’s events. 

Why then could that same photographer now claim that after only four hours of walking aroundOakland, going back toFrankOgawaPlazato catch a bus going back toBerkeley, might cause some negative comments on his next job performance report?

In the old days when carrying a Nikon F and needing the skill of loading 35 mm film onto a Nikor reel was part of the job qualifications, it was necessary to be aware of deadline limitations.  The photographer had to be aware of the time not only inLos Angeles, but in other cities in theUSA. 

A sports photo that moved at 9 p.m. PST, would arrive in sports departments on the East Coast at midnight, which was deadline time for getting material into the next morning street edition.

It was a commonly accepted rule of thumb that if a photographer didn’t see his work move on the wire before 6 p.m. Pacific Time, it didn’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of being used by the Los Angeles Times.

There are, we understand, some state of the art digital cameras that can download onto the Internets directly and instantaneously from the scene where news has occurred.  We understand that live steam video “live from the scene” is being provided to some people with the right computer equipment.

We got a feature style photo of a hand held device showing a teargas attack somewhere inOaklandto the protesters at backFrankOgawaPlaza.  No deadline lag there.

Santa Claus has not yet delivered any computer hardware that would drastically shorten the amount of time that the World’s Laziest Journalist requires to post any material online.  We have to go back to the laptop, download the files from the Coolpix, edit the images and select the best ones, then go to a place where a wifi connection can be accessed, and then post photos and a story on the Internets.

A quick check of the Internets on the way back to the laptop in Berkeley provide a glimpse of some excellent images on the Contra Costa Times website and that had the effect of slightly diminishing the World’s Laziest Journalist’s level of enthusiasm for the process of posting.

On Saturday night, we noted that KCBS’s hourly CBS radio network news was very focused on the fact that Herman Kane had endorsed Newt Gingrich.  While we were listening and editing the digital images, KCBS reported that the Protesters had entered a WMCA and interacted with some people there who were exercising. 

Obviously the explanation of just what going into that place had to do with the day’s announced goal of entering an abandoned building and establishing a claim that such a move was a humanitarian effort to provide shelter for the homeless will have to be elaborated by the nebulous Occupy Movement protesters, who take pride in featuring no management hierarchy that can provide authoritative replies to any reporter’s inquiries.

Initially, the unexplained visit to the YMCA, which KCBS reported added another one hundred arrests to the scoreboard, might seem inappropriate as part of the argument that action has to be taken to prove that empty office building might be a viable alternative to the Occupy Campsites which drew extensive criticism attributed to local business men. 

By 6 a.m. Sunday morning, KCBS was reporting that the total number of arrests had risen to the 300 level. 

The Sunday 7 a.m. PST CBS radio network newscast made a brief mention of the Move In Day arrests inOakland.

Some protesters entered theOaklandCity Hallon Saturday evening.  Initially KCBS was relaying the information that photographers at the City Hall had noticed that the protesters did not have to force entry to the facility.  By Sunday morning, reports stated that Occupy protesters had broken into the City Hall and then trashed the place.

On a quiet Sunday morning inBerkeley, the columnist/photographer wrote up his subjective report on the newsworthy Saturday protest and then planned to travel to a place where he could post it.

What makes it worthwhile for a fellow to spend all that time and effort to produce something which conservatives will ridicule as glorifying thugs and liberals, other than the ones who stumble across it where it is posted, will ignore? . . .

Can we get back to your later with the answer to that question?

Due to the fact that a member of the Fortyniners did his imitation of Bill Bruckner style clutch performance twice in one game last Sunday, we are obliged [It’s never fun to lose a bet] to start this week’s weekend wrap up by plugging a blog (<a href =www.franknicodemus.org

>www.franknicodemus.org

 </a> {did she say it was the Cadillac of blogs or a blog about Cadillacs?}) for a Giants fan and then proceeding on to our regularly scheduled ration of amazingly perceptive and insightful political punditry interwoven with unique observations about pop culture.

Are the mainstream media pundits pointing out the absurd spectacle presented by the fact that a year long cavalcade of clichés proclaiming that the most important Presidential election ever?  It is starting with a concerted effort by top Republican personalities to discredit the two leading candidates.  How dare the Republican rank ’n’ file voters think that they can select the nominee!  Isn’t the core principle of a Republic that only qualified persons (such as men who own land) can vote?  Well then only folks like Bob Dole and Karl Rove should be consulted when it comes time to write a news story that will refer to “the Republican frontrunner.” 

If it ain’t gonna be Romney or Gingrich, then who will it be?  If the experts on the weekend shouting matches can’t tell you that, do you really expect the World’s Laziest Journalist to make an accurate prediction which will spoil the surprise?  Here’s a hint:  what totally qualified Republican has the initials:  J. E. B.?

The Republicans lately have been rather insistent about starting a tiny, quick war withIran.  The Republicans always harshly criticize everything Obama does.  If President Obama starts a war withIran; will that force the Republicans into making a tough fielder’s choice decision?  They can either cheer him on in the conduct of a blitzkrieg in the Gulf or they can denounce him for doing what they wanted to do. 

Even if President Obama starts a new war they really want, and even if he personally goes into battle and wins a Medal of Honor and the war is won in thirty minutes, the Republicans would sincerely ridicule that as being a despicable inept spectacle that has brought shame and dishonor to the country.

Where can we get a photo that contrasts flower power with a soldier’s weapon to illustrate the dilemma facing theUSAthis week?  There was an iconic Sixties image that showed a hippie guy placing the stem of a flower into the barrel of an M-1.  That image is rather common on the Internets, but we won’t use it because we don’t know who owns the rights to the famous shot, so that makes getting permission to use that shot a moot question.

BerkeleyCAis rather synonymous with both flower power and anti-war demonstrations and, as luck would have it, to promote the current production at the Ashby Stage (home of the Shotgun Players) a relevant new mural is being used to tout it.  It is a graphic design featuring an M-16 with a flower dangling from the gun barrel.  Click.  <I>Voila!</I>  We now have in our possession, a digital file of an image that makes getting permission to use it seem like a schizophrenic’s soliloquy .

Who knew that being an online columnist would eventually require a fellow to acquire a stockpile of stock photos and a handbook full of information about the art director’s job?

(Most columnists online or in print journalism have probably never heard of Alexey Brodovitch, let alone aspire to his level of art direction achievements in page layout and photo illustrations to supplement the text on the page.)

Did other political pundits report that on a fundraising visit toSan Francisco, the columnist’s old grade school classmate Joey Biden suffered a verbal malfunction that revealed his lack of sports expertise show?  The gaff landed Biden on page one of the San Francisco Examiner the next day for saying that the Giants were going to the Superbowl.  Wouldn’t a photo of the security detail assigned to the Vice President be an example of an anemic illustration for a weekend wrap up that runs more than a week later? 

It’s tough enough to get up early, pound out a column that the writer hopes is entertaining and informative augmented by (occasionally) topics that are subsequently used in the main stream media, and then go to a public library to get access to the Internets to post it; but when you add on the duties of a photographer and an amateur art director to the “to do” list, that makes it all the more time consuming.  Herb Caen, who wrote a daily column in San Francisco for sixty years never had to spend time finding a photo that was relevant to his column, did he?

What if the columnist’s stock photo files have some nifty photos of Bon Scott’s statue in Fremantle WesternAustralia, but he didn’t get any images of the Occupy the Cal Library news story during the week?  Will UCB students be upset that the library story wasn’t covered by the photographer?  Do kids these days even know who Bon Scott was?  Well, such a shot would be sure to draw about one Google searching person somewhere in the world to the site every day for years to come.  Unfortunately no American website would be willing to reimburse the photographer for the expenses that would be incurred in the effort to get such images.

What if the journalist’s trend-spotting radar picks up a regional anomaly?  If snapshot collecting is not becoming popular anywhere else but inBerkeleyand if the columnist gets caught up in the “hobby,” does it deserve to be a trend-spotting column topic?  Is a decades old photo print considered to be in the public domain?  Would the topic of snapshot collecting be a valid excuse for running an intriguing old snapshot with no caption material?

The columnist seems to find images featuring old automobiles irresistible even on a tight budget.  Someday, if we ever write a trend-spotting column about snapshot collecting, we will probably have several eye-catching images to go with it.

A homeless writer inBerkeleyCAcaused a bit of a small sensation online this week by challenging Mitt Romney to do a Prince and the Pauper routine and trade places.  TheBerkeleyfellow, James Richard Armstrong II, is on Facebook and looking to expand his fan base by adding more readers to his list of friends, so folks who want to follow his progress can go to that site and send him an invitation to be an e-friend.  A good portrait of him would have been a good photo illustration for this column. 

If Corporations are going to have the same rights and privileges as people, then when will they be permitted to compete in the Olympic Games?  Wouldn’t the New York Yankees kick ass in the baseball competition?  Life magazine has collected the 100 best sports pictures for a gallery on their website.

We were introduced to a fellow inBerkeleythis week whose claim to fame was being “Louie theTurkey” on some Frank Zappa recordings.  Unfortunately we didn’t get a photo of the fellow.

On Saturday, Occupy Oakland is planning an event which, if the World’s Laziest Journalist goes, might provide some acceptable accompanying news photos for a weekend warp-up column that will get posted next Friday. 

The quest for good photos will continue . . .

Alexey Brodovitch has been quoted as saying:

A.  “This disease of our age is boredom… The way to combat this is by invention – by surprise. When I say a good picture has surprise value, I mean that it stimulates my thinking and intrigues me.”  

B.  “A good picture must be a completely individual expression which intrigues the viewer and forces him to think.”  

C.  “If [an artist] is to maintain his integrity, he must be responsible to himself; he must seek a public which will accept his vision, rather than pervert his vision to fit that public.”

D.  “If you see something you have seen before, don’t click the shutter.”

E.  All of the above.

Now the disk jockey will play “Kodachrome,” Ferde Grofé’s “Grand Canyon Suite,” and Ferrantey and Teicher’s “Canadian Sunset.”  We have to go find a movie theater showing “Hugo” in 2-D.  Have a “Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!” type week.

So which of the Republicans are the Foxkrieg troops going to embrace this year?  Will it be the Rich guy who made millions liquidating American businesses while trying to palm himself off as a Woody Guthrie-ish man of the streets?  (Why didn’t he just say “I’m the Wall Street guy”?)  Will it be the studly family values = open marriage guy?  Will it be Rick “say hello to my little friend” Santorum? 

Aren’t contemporary efforts to assess the Republican scramble to select a 2012 Presidential Candidate similar to trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle while participating in the stampede to depart from a sinking ship that has sounded the abandon ship alarm?  It is an impossible task so the pundits should embrace the insanity.

IsAmericaready to do a mind melt with Rupert Murdoch and select soccer as the official American pastime?  If anyone can turn soccer hooliganism into a display of American patriotism, surely it will be the Fox analysts, eh?  Isn’t Superbowl Sunday going to start with a Manchester United match?  Wow!  Will all the Tottenham Hotspurs fans tune in to see theManchesterboys get their noses bloodied (figuratively speaking, of course!)?

Have any of the news organizations done an update on the brain cancer victim who was sent to the hospital for daring to root for an out-of-town team at a Hockey match recently?

Don’t sports fans believe in “One sport – One Team – One star player”? 

Can’t we all get along and subscribe to a philosophy that asserts “One CEO!” as a (metaphorically speaking) way of supporting whoever gets elected President in November?  The Republicans all agree that the Democrats should think that way. 

Don’t the skeptics who get so upset with the Occupy Movement urge the protesters to get a job because work will set them free?  BFH!  (Isn’t that the Brit-texting way of saying Bloody Far-out Hell!”?) 

Only Democrats see a contradiction in continuing the foreclosure trend and then telling the homeless families that they can’t sleep in tents in public parks and they can’t stay in abandoned office buildings either.  Duh!  Ya can’t create jobs in office buildings that have become de facto slum tenements.  They have to be ready to house new businesses when the Republicans use the electronic voting machines (with unverifiable results) to replace the incumbent President. 

If a Republican is elected President won’t he, like George W. Bush did previously, take military spending off the national budget’s balance sheet and then “abracadabra!”  quick as a flash, there will be no deficit and the road to recovery will be smooth sailing for the rest of his term.

To hear the Democrats tell it, if George W. Romney gets elected, he will liquidate the New Deal as fast as possible.  Duh, again!  If the Republicans scrap the Social Security Program, there won’t be any need to tax the rich, eh? 

The Democrats worship Obama to an uncomfortable degree.  Isn’t it time to send Willard up there to replace him in the White House?  BFH!  Are Obama’s methods unsound?  Ask some Republicans and they (and their subservient old ladies) will tell you:  “I don’t see any method at all!”

What’s the difference between a punk, a rebel (with or without a cause), an outlaw, a rocker, a soccer hooligan, and an Occupy protester? 

If there is no difference why don’t some punk rockers, rebels and outlaws hold a benefit concert to raise funds to buy foreclosed buildings to house the tent cities protesters?  Do they think that if they raise the money, the banks won’t sell them the abandoned unused office buildings? 

A lot of musicians have made a considerable amount of money posing as punks, rebels, and outlaws.  If they are going to talk the talk, shouldn’t they be willing to walk the walk?

The Rolling Stones band once made headlines inGreat Britainby proclaiming:  “We’re the Rolling Stones; we piss anywhere.”  Was that a sneak preview of the Occupy Movement?  All they gotta do is play one benefit concert, one time and then the Occupy Posse will have enough money to buy foreclosed office buildings in (guessing) twenty five strategic cities? 

Have the boys fromAltamontsuddenly become The Rolling Stones Inc.?

When the Rolling Stones got into some legal troubles (over a closed men’s room?) inGreat Britain, the Who went into a studio and cut a cover of a Rolling Stones song as a show of solidarity.  (We’ve seen a copy of the record in Dr. Demento’s private collection.) 

Back in the day, the Stones had a legal obligation to deliver an album and so they did.  Unfortunately, the material they delivered was unsuitable to their corporate masters and so the project was shelved.  The name of the album can’t be printed in a family newspaper.  Try a Google search for the “Rolling Stones” and “contractual obligation album,” if you want to find the name the band suggested. 

Jerry Lee Lewis had one song with a line that asked “How much would you pay to hear a living legend sing?” 

Is it true that Guns ‘n’ Roses, who opened for the Rolling Stones during the Steel Wheels tour, will be inducted into the Rock’n’Roll Hall of Fame this year?  Who recorded the song “Time slips away”?  Or was it titled “Where Does the Time go?”?

How much money could a benefit concert raise if the lineup featured (hypothetically speaking) Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, the Who, the Kinks, and Furthur (the band formerly known as The Grateful Dead)?  This columnist paid $8 plus change for a ticket to see the Rolling Stones inAnaheimin 1978 (or so); concert tickets would probably cost more these days.  (Just guessing.)

[Note: the World’s Laziest Journalist assumes that if a band didn’t play a gig before January 1, 1970, it is too new and untried to merit serious consideration – although the guys with the band called “U2” are showing some promise.]

Good conservative musicians don’t seem to hesitate when Sean Hannity puts out an invitation to play an annual benefit concert to help the Marines.  What up with all the rock musicians who make sizable fortunes singing about the salt of the earth and working man’s blues?  Can they get their accountants to grant them permission to play just one Occupy Aid type concert gratis?

The Republican debates are getting the Republican viewpoint out to the public.  Why aren’t the Democrats having debates during the primary season?  Are they subscribing to the “No dissention” among the ranks philosophy these days? 

No concert.  No debates.  No hoopla?  How do they expect to win in November?

President Nixon, President Reagan, and President George W. Bush all seemed to intuitively know the wisdom of W. C. Fields’ advice about a second term:  “If a thing’s worth having; it’s worth cheating for.”  The last two Democratic Presidents elected to two full terms in office were Bill Clinton and FDR.

Now the disk jockey will play the Cowsills’ “We Can Fly,” Them’s “Here Comes the Night,” and the Zombies’ “Is This the Dream?”  We have to go see what’s happening with Occupy Oakland.  Have a “Feeling Groovy” type week.

(VeniceCA)  The Occupy Wall Street demonstrations have been gaining increased media attention recently (although some lackeys in the conservative propaganda branch of the media have taken to blatant mocking the spontaneous combustion of citizen outrage) and so the World’s Laziest Journalist went to Marina del Rey (on the Western edge of Los Angeles County) to contact and interview the leaders of the Occupy Marina del Rey (CA) at their secret rebel encampment.  Unlike the other Occupy protests around the USA, the one in Marina del Rey makes a concerted effort to avoid journalists and we had to switch to stealth mode to talk with the folks who have been trying to reverse the trend of politicians, bankers, and capitalists collaborating on the fleecing of the middle class, in that area of county owned land.

For fifty years the media has been reporting on the cozy financial relationship between the politicians and the developers, but (alas) the trend continues to gain momentum to this very day. 

There is no publicized, centralized location for the Occupy Marina del Rey protesters where the police can focus their efforts to discourage the voters’ discontent.  The rebel forces in Marina del Rey have tended to pattern their efforts more along the lines of the Occupy theSierraMaestroMountains.  Many years ago that protest, in a small Caribbean Island Nation, may have, inadvertently, provided the paradigm for the more visible various Occupy Wall Street clone protests springing up around the USA in the Fall of 2011.

We talked with the leader of the Marina Rebels (formed in the late Seventies) known to his followers as “<I>el Jefe</I>,” and he pointed out that the new Occupy Protesters who say that they “aren’t going away” will need at least a decade to establish the priorities for their demands and develop a dialogue with the opposition.

The Marina Rebels have been stymied at every move by the capitalists who dictate their agenda to the local politicians and stifle any attempts to gain converts by managing the news and thus coercing the locals into becoming “sheeple.” 

<I>El Jefe</I> brandishes a copy of the October 20, 2011, issue of <I>La Opiniõn</I> newspaper and points to the lead story that details the allegations that the S-Comm program (according to Aarti Kohli at the Warren Institute at UC Berkeley) puts electronic tracking devices on undocumented foreigners in the USA and challenges the columnist saying:  “Bet ya didn’t know about this, didja?”

We had to admit that we must have missed that story in our efforts to monitor the news emanating out of that school in the SF area.

 <I>El Jefe</I> calls the fascistic politicians, who let developers deplete citizens’ bank accounts via sordid and assorted devious schemes, by the word “Batista” which we assumes means people born out of wedlock.  He uses the word as a metaphor for a dictator who has a very cozy relationship with the capitalists and should be replaced by someone via legitimate democratic means or somehow. 

The more traditional protest at Occupy Venice (CA) epitomized by a small encampment at theVenice Circleechoes the various bigger protests in places likeNew York City,San FranciscoandLos Angeles, but the Marina Rebels prefer to conduct their efforts via law suits.  The leader of the Marina Rebels is quick to ask the visiting columnist if he knows the details of the dispersal of the Bonus Army in Washington D. C. a few years back.  We replied:  “Didn’t Douglas Macarthur do a superb job of extending ‘interline courtesy’ and limiting the number of fatalities of protesting WWI veterains, to an extremely acceptable small number?” 

“Evidently,” <I>el Jefe</I> responded, “Macarthur was intent on running interference for Ronald Reagan and establishing a precedence for the kind of harsh response to demonstrators which the California governor would condone when he said ‘If it takes a blood bath to end this dissention on campus, let’s get it over with.’”

We asked if the leader of the Marina Rebels thought there would be a heavy handed government move to help convince the protesters to abandon their efforts.  “You had to be blindfolded while you were being brought here.  Draw your own conclusions.” He continued:  “Didn’t your mother teach you that all’s fair in love, war and politics?”

Then he pointed to the front page of the Los Angeles Times October 20, 2011, edition which had a lead story about an FBI investigation into allegations of beatings in the jail facilities. 

“The protesters who compare their commitment to non-violence to Gandhi’s methods may soon want to read Albert Camus’ ‘The Rebel’ because in effect they are forcing a binary choice onAmerica:  ‘change your ways’ or endorse fascism . . . one more time.  Based onAmerica’s past history, we think we know which way the capitalists’ police force will be told to handle the problem.  Camus wouldn’t have expected a Pollyanna ending to the protests, so why should I?”  He paused and then asked:  “How are the ‘No Justice; No BART’ protests going?”  He paused and then asked another question:  “After the 1968 Democratic Convention who was put on trial?  Was it the cops or the kids?”

When we pulled out our Nikon Coolpix camera some of the rebels pulled out pistols.  <I>El Jefe</I> motioned me to put the camera away.  “Go over to the Occupy Venice site if you want to take photos.  You can’t take any here.”

He chuckled and then added:  “We have been conducting our fight for about thirty five years.  We may not live to see the Promised Land where rents are fair, but we will continue fighting until we win or the day we die.  Che Guevara said:  ‘Whenever death may surprise us, let it be welcome if our battle cry has reached even one receptive ear and another hand reaches out to take up our arms.’  We hope the Occupy sites succeed and achieve all their aims but they should know that it may take some time to wear the capitalists down.”

Then he ended the bearded leader added:  “It seems that efforts to shame the capitalists into repenting is a bit more optimistic than this old cynic is ready to expect.”

Now the disk jockey will play “Until the end of time,” and the Stones songs “When the whip comes down” and “StreetFightingMan.”  We have to go check and see if there is an “Occupy Santa Monica” and see how well it is going.  Have an “In it to win it” type week.

It should be obvious that people who make millions and pay no taxes while others eek out a living while paying a big chunk of their income for taxes isn’t fair.

It should be obvious that when police get rough with protesters who objecting to cagy politicians asserting that it is time to reduce the pension payments made to retired teachers and public employees (including law enforcement officers) that may be an example of self-defeating, inexplicable logic. 

A pesky contradiction presents itself in the fact that many of the protesters object to the War on Terrorism because it is a vague concept with no specific goals while their efforts can be similarly criticized.

Liberals who are quite adamant in asserting that Republicans would eventually install fascism in America, and who are very concerned about the Occupy Wall Street movement being co-opted by conservatives, might ask themselves if a series of false flag operatives starts a series of violent incidents, could that provide a convenient excuse for a much faster pace for the slide towards fascism?

Since President Obama has become a stealth Republican do the Occupy Wall Street protesters want to rely on him to protect them from an overly harsh reaction to any agent provocateur activities?

Brad Friedman has been substituting for Mike Malloy on the Malloy’s radio show while the host participates in a protest rally in Washington D. C.  Both Friedman and Malloy are very enthusiastic about the spontaneous manifestations of voter dissatisfaction with the status quo.  We are very tempted to call and ask Friedman (who has been a point man for journalistic criticism of the electronic voting machines and the validity of their unverifiable results) if a call to hold new elections would end the Occupy Wall Street protests.

If they are working toward getting a solemn promise from the capitalists, politicians, and military to reform their ways and end preferential taxation methods and begin more efficient financial oversight then they should all read up on the plight of the Native Americans who tended to get swindled when ever they signed agreements AKA peace treaties AKA “scraps of paper.”  

How did the occupation ofAlcatrazIslandwork out?

How much did the Hippie demonstrations shorten the Vietnam War?

What did the politicians do to end thePullmanstrike?

Have the Occupy Wall Street protesters ever heard of the Ludlow Massacre?

Is it true that the politicians in Washington (AKA “the Great White Father”) ultimately broke every treaty they ever signed with the various Native American groups?  Is it true that the only tribe who was never betrayed by such a duplicitous agreement was the Nez Pierce who were exterminated before they ever signed any treaty?

While perusing a copy of “Geronimo his own story” (the Ballantine Books 1970 paperback edition was edited by S. M. Barrett), we learned that the Chiricahua Apache under Geronimo (who led a splinter faction tribe after Cochise surrendered) led a nomadic existence that was comprised mostly of stealing and waging war.  Wouldn’t Geronimo feel right at home at the 2012 Republican National Convention?

Would a corrupt but compassionate Republican Christian have stolen Geronimo’s skull from Fort Sill and used it as a shrine to remind like minded associates of a commitment to a life of stealing and waging war?

We wish the demonstrators all the luck in the world.  Don’t sign any agreements without reading them fully first.

In an introductory note to the aforementioned Ballantine edition, Frederick W. Turner III notes that the famous warrior was a crafty prisoner:  “It is interesting, however, that just as he was the supreme embodiment of the Chiricahua way of life, so he became a very shrewd capitalist when the white man way was forced upon him.  In fact he took on all the trappings of the white man’s civilization, becoming . . .  a tireless promoter of himself, hawking photographs, bows, and arrows at various fairs and expositions.  He was one Indian who exploited the exploiters better than they could him.”

Now the disk jockey will play “Old Age and Treachery (will beat youth and skill every time),” Buffy St. Marie’s “Universal Soldier,” and Paul Revere and the Raiders’ song “Indian Reservation.”  We have to go check to see if the Peace Pipe is still lit.  Have a “fine day to die” type week.

Didn’t he explain in detail, before he started in earnest, how he would achieve his nefarious objective by reducing all issues down, via über-simplification, to a basic slogan and then coast to an easy win?  Were some Germans caught off guard when he did exactly what he said he was going to do?

If a country had a political party that had openly announced that they swore allegiance to the country’s flag and were fully committed to returning to that country’s founding principles; would anyone who fully understands the meaning of the word “Republic” really be surprised to learn that such a party was working to disenfranchise citizens they deemed ineligible to vote?

Could they secretly have a broad mental reservation about not being obliged to adhere to election results that they considered invalid?  If they did, could they openly announce an effort to challenge the system’s validity or would it be better for their ultimate goal if they ostensibly asserted that democratic values were so important that they would send their kids into battle to earn and keep those principles, while secretly working to restore the right to vote only to men who owned land?

Obviously their efforts would initially be better served by very loud assertions of their belief in the method they hoped would become obsolete rather than being so crass and blunt as to proclaim:  “Vote for us so we can disenfranchise you!”

Reducing the issues down to absurdly simplistic slogans (as Don Imus would say:  “bumper sticker it for me.”) might seem to streamline the debate, but more often than not it means “the lowest common denominator” rather than providing “a level playing field.”

For example could a pseudo intellectual liberal pundit who resorts to long complex sentences, with subordinate relatives clauses and numerous prepositional phrases which would challenge a tea bagger’s analytical ability and stymie any effort to correctly diagram it on the chalkboard, be dismissed by a diabolical troll for being “rambling and incoherent”?  Surely Hitler would bestow kudos for such a “slip the punch” response.

In the film “Point Break,” the surfing guru Bodhi (Patrick Swayze) advises an FBI agent:  “Think it through, Johnny.”  In politics the conservatives prefer to toss out a hot potato and offer the advice “Think fast!” with an accompanying smirk.

Conservatives would not dare to say:  “Don’t worry folks, the only thing at stake here is . . . the future of your country!”  Nor would they be very likely to admit the relevancy of the advice from William Claude Dukenfield (AKA W. C. Fields):  “If a thing’s worth having; it’s worth cheating for.” 

Recently some Republicans inFloridabroke ranks with the national party to reschedule their state’s primary election date.  While it is easy to dismiss all the intricate maneuvering as some silly frat boy game playing (the quarterback reads the defense and calls and audible) but the reality is that the only thing at stake here is . . . the future of the country.

OstensiblyFlorida, which is a bastion of teabag party values and acolytes and which traditionally forecasts the person who will become the Republican Party’s Presidential nominee indicated a preference for Herman Cain. 

Will hisFloridamomentum carry him to a quick Florida Primary win or will there be some second thoughts which cause the Sunshine state to pin their hopes on some other dark horse candidate?  Is it remotely possible (“All things are possible through prayer, my son.”) that a former governor of their state could be persuaded to accept a win in an effort to revive the old “favorite son” ruse?

Since there is a lot of disgruntle teachers (especially inWisconsin?) out there waiting for their chance to vote for the next President and since one former governor of Florida can easily be branded as the “education candidate” (isn’t his family’s name an integral part of the history of the “No child left behind” movement, and didn’t he do great things for education in his state?) maybe he can be persuaded to give it a try? 

Before any representative of the Columbia Review of Journalism magazine or the American Journalism Review voices strenuous objections saying that the free press might howls of indignation in response to such a (admittedly bucking great odds) hypothetical election result, we would ask them to remember just how quickly the mainstream media (like a dog and pony show) responded admiringly (and submissively?) to the idea that Howard Dean, in one rash soundbyte, had forfeited his “frontrunner” status to Sen. John Kerry because he had manifested symptoms of being emotionally unstable.

The Fox Views team proposed the idea that Dean had suffered a mental breakdown in public and the Free Press of America, which is normally completely paranoid about being vulnerable to damages for liability lawsuits, quickly seconded the motion without a single instance of a quote from a reliable knowledgeable source about the psychological soundness of the candidate’s state of mind.  (Does that mean that the gullible journalists were actually guilty of practicing medicine without a license?  Whatever.  It’s too late to worry about the validity of the 2004 Election frontrunner substitution now.)

Does the World’s Laziest Journalist really think that the quality of news in America today is so decrepit and unreliable that the mainstream media would meekly follow the lead of some invisible, diabolical Svengali to say (on cue) that by winning the Florida Primary, the Republican Frontrunner for the 2012 Republican Election no longer had to counter a negative (family) brand name image?  Yes.

Wouldn’t such a travesty of journalism indicate that the Free Press in America (and one of the reasons for starting the Revolutionary War) was now as extinct as the California Golden Bear (<I>Ursus arctos californicus</I>)?  Yes.

Isn’t a free press necessary to permit informed citizens to make intelligent voting decisions?  Isn’t that precisely why Hitler clamped a censorship lid on the newspapers in the country where he served as chancellor-for-life?  Did he say:  “Elect me and I’ll start a state run news agency”?

Has the Fox Views audience been informed bout the latest news developments at the Japanese nuclear reactors?  Has the Fox audience heard the stories about the feral dog packs now roaming in the Fukushima area?  Do they know the latest developments in the Murdoch hacking scandal probes in theUSAandEngland?  Did they get stories about “Occupy Wall Street” before the arrests began?  Was the Fox Views audience informed about the recent <a href =http://www.swedishwire.com/politics/11277-swedens-west-coast-hit-by-substantial-oil-spill>massive oil spill off the coast of Sweden</a>?

DidAustraliasend troops to aid with the invasion ofLibya?

How many American troops were killed this week inIraq?

InAfghanistan, how many American troops were killed this week?

Hitler specifically made listening to foreign new broadcasts punishable by death.  (Were Murrow’s Boys that good?  Yes.)

Back in the day, the newsstand in the Pan Am building inNew York Citycarried the current edition of Paris Match.  Can New Yorkers still buy that publication there?

On Saturday, October 1, 2011, a promotional event for the publication of the 2012 edition of the Project Censored book was held at Moe’s Bookstore inBerkeleyCA.  One of the problems presented to the editors for this year’s installment in the book series, was fitting it all into the book.  They used smaller type but still it sets the record the most number of pages for any of their annual publications. 

Of course if some tea bagger troll (speaking <I>ex cathedra</I>) says that Project Censored is “just” a collection of “Best of” articles substantiated by “scientific evidence” from crackpot sources, that should be sufficient to prove that the 2012 Project Censored book will be regarded by conservative pundits as the latest product from the Amalgamated Conspiracy Theory Factory.  Murdoch’s lap dogs will be expected to automatically “second the motion.”

Isn’t it so easy to refute the implication thatAmerica’s Free Press (which may have been worth the cost of some of your family members’ lives during World War II) is DOA?  All you have to do is point to Fox Views as living proof that Journalism is alive and well in theUSA.

The debate over the death of Anwar al-Awlaki was put to permanent rest when Herman Goering said:  “Shoot first and inquire afterwards, and if you make mistakes, I will protect you.”

The disk jockey thinks that the Tea Bag party needs an official song and therefore he will humbly offer his suggestions by playing us out with the Horst Wessel song, the 1938 hit (in Germany) The World Belongs to the Strong, and Richard Wagner’s <I>Liebestod</I> from <I>Tristan und Isolde</I>.  We have to go (to try to) buy a copy of today’s issue of the <I>Volkische Beobachter</I> newspaper.  Have a “<I>Die Dreigroschenoper</I>” type week.

Obviously using a left-handed shirttail grab to save a fellow’s life in Sydney will make for a great page or two for the memoirs, but would people want to read a column online detailing how such a maneuver stopped a fellow who was in the falling down stage of inebriation from attempting to stand on a precipice that was four floor above the street and urinate into the void?  When he decided to redirect his efforts to a nearby potted plant and fell face first into the bush, didn’t that constitute saving his life?  Some of the more immature travelers thought it might have been hilarious to let him try his face-plant efforts from on top of the fence that would have provided a more majestic visual than the crass spectacle of the “watering” of the shrubbery did

A large number of books and several magazines find eager audiences willing to spend money to read about far away places with strange sounding names so why is it that the Internets hasn’t spawned a digital Kerouac?  Can crossposting columns on Digihitch lead to a book deal?  Would “No good blog goes unread” be the corollary for “No good deed goes unpunished!”?

What if a fellow traveled extensively and then boldly asserted that theGolden GateBridgein theSan Franciscoarea was more photogenic than theSydneyBridge?  That might stir up one or two posts in the comments section challenging the contention, but (hypothetically) do any potential readers in ConcordiaKansasreally care about determining which of the two is a better photo op?  Wouldn’t they be more interested in getting the final score of the Friday night high school football game?

Would it be worth all the time the time, effort, and expense required to get photos of the two contenders, just to push a troll in the King’s Cross Section of one of the bridges’ home towns into going to all the trouble of posting an “<I>au contraire</I>” message in the comments section?

Isn’t that like the moment in “Rebel without a cause” when James Stark (James Dean) asks the other guy:  “Why do we do this Buzz?”  The answer was “We gotta do something.”

Since that first step of walking out of the apartment building inLos Angeleshappened on October 1 of 2008, we’ve been thinking about the way things have changed since then.

Many Americans pay for a tour to a foreign country and come back with enthusiastic accounts of forming friendships on the trip . . . with their fellow American travelers.  Business men who get paid to go toAustraliausually get to stay at a chain franchise hotel and get to mingle with other businessmen from around the world. 

When they come back to theUSAfolks will ask:  “What are the Australians like?” and those folks will reel off a list of Kodak moments (such as shots of Bon Scott’s statue in Fremantle) and spout travel platitudes.

Staying in Hostels we did not encounter very many fellow Americans nor did we get a chance to chat with many Australians.  We mostly got to talk to fellow vagabonders from throughout theBritish Empireplus a goodly number of European youths.  We made an effort to talk to Aussies so that we could blog our reply in more detail to the “What are Australians like?” question.

If you loveNew York City(and who doesn’t?), you will feel quite at home inSydney, but are New Yorkers just like the folks in ConcordiaKansas?  TheSydneyvs.Perthdebate is very similar to the rivalry betweenNew York Cityand the City ofour LadyQueen of the Angeles (AKA L. A.). 

At a hostel inKalgoorlie, (the Word spell check challenges the name of that city in the W. A. [AKA WesternAustralia]) you are more likely to encounter a Kiwi seeking work than a person fromSydney. 

Regional loyalty is an interesting phenomenon.  Somebody inAustraliathought it would be better to reshoot episodes of “The Office” with local geographical references rather than showing reruns of the American series (which was inspired by a series inEngland).

If the Aussies make a joke about Skimpie’s being the most famous saloon inAustraliawould that be better than a reference to the Amereica’s best corner bar?  When Johnny Carson was hosting the Tonight Show from a studio inNew York, he helped Hurley’s achieve that distinction, but now that he’s gone and Hurley’s is too; what is the most famous gin mill in theUSA?

Australians make as much of a fuss about the Melbourne Cup as Americans do for the Kentucky Derby.  Can your American neighbor who has taken a tour of Oz tell you when that race is held?

One of the most popular tourist attractions inAustralia is the National War Museum in Canberra.  Americans who visit it can learn during World War II, just as the Australians were preparing for an invasion byJapan, theAmericaswon theBattleof theCoral Seaand the Battle of Midway in rapid succession and thereby crippled the Japanese military’s plan to plant their flag on Australian soil.

Australians we met made efforts to explain that they lovedAmericaand Americans for preventing the Japanese invasion, but they disagreed with what George W. Bush was doing with torture, invasions, and attacks on personal liberty.

We went to an (American) Election Results (Why doesAmericainsist on holding their elections on Melbourne Cup Day?) viewing party at theUniversityofSydneyand the tumultuous reaction to Obama’s victory seemed genuine.  When the polls closed at 9 p. m. on Election day, onAmerica’s West Coast, it was 3 p.m. Wednesday inSydney. 

Lately as we notice that while some beautiful Indian Summer days in Berkeley indicate that Winter is drawing neigh, the jacaranda bushes will soon be blooming in Sydney and their country will prepare to celebrate Christmas in the traditional Australia way, i.e. in a bathing suit on the beaches from Bondi to Cottesloe.

In late October of 2008, Australians were very enthusiastic about the election of President Obama and we can’t help but wonder if “change” has occurred in their assessments ofAmerica’s leader.  Hmmm.  Would it be better to go back to theUniversityofSydneyto watch the 2012 Election results get posted or should we try going to Harry’s New York Bar inParisto see the reaction there?

Being a cynical self-subsidized American political columnist means that ultimately that decision will be up to the World’s Laziest Jounralist and no one else will get to participate in the final results.  Which brings us back to Buzz’s question in “Rebel Without a Cause.”

At Christmas time in 2008 we recall one evening sitting in the smoking and drinking area of a hostel in Fremantle WesternAustraliachatting with some young ladies fromStocktonEngland(Home of the Northern Blues) and they asked this columnist why he had gone to all the effort to travel there. 

Seeing the Fords, Ferraris, and Chaparrals compete at Sebring had been fun.  Going to the Oscars™, Emmys, and Grammies had been a real hoot (should we double back on our tracks and see if they have changed much since Nixon was in the White House?).  We had asked John Wayne for his autograph and gotten a business card with a reproduction of his signature.  We gave our autograph to Paul Newman.  We flew in the Goodyear blimp. 

Would a blogger have to be crazy to try to attempt to do something with a blog that Robert Louis Stevenson, Joseph Conrad, and Jack London didn’t achieve with their books?  We explained that we were searching for a colorful character who had been everywhere and done everything.  The Brits enthusiastic response was to say that was precisely why they had come there and that was why they were glad they had met the World’s Laziest Journalist.

In all the intervening days we’ve lost track of the “on the road” aspect of our quest for material for the columns we write.  It seems that we have settled into a routine of bashing the Bush-Obama political agenda.  Now we have to ask ourself another question.  “Why (allegedly) do more sailors jump ship inNew Zealandthan any other country in the world?”

In “A Personal Record,” Joseph Conrad wrote:  “I had given myself up to the idleness of a haunted man who looks for nothing but words wherein to capture his visions.”

Since some music will now always remind us of our trip toAustralia, the disk jockey will now play Bobby Bare’s “Five hundred miles away from home,”  Johnny Cash’s “Live at Fulsome Prison” album, and the 1812 Overture (what will the Western Australia Symphony Orchestra play at this year’s Christmas Concert under the stars?).  We have to go check the expiration date on our passport.  Have an “I remember it well” type week.

Would Republicans be content to let the conservative majority United State Supreme Court sit idly by and let democracy in action embody provide an example of their nightmare scenario coming true?

Attempting to explain the apparent hypocritical aspect of such an unexpected result would require an elaborate example of in-depth journalism that would blend an extensive knowledge of psychology with speculation about the deep subconscious motivation for the result that blatantly contradicts the attitude revealed by numerous Republican attempts at ethnic humor that offends many Democrats. 

Aren’t the Fox Views propagandists the only performers qualified to give instant analyses displaying an extensive knowledge of the mood of the electorate?  Wouldn’t a liberal pundit be challenged for producing anything describing what the voters are thinking that is unsubstantiated by extensive (and expensive) polling results?

It would be easier to write a column about an attempt at the Amalgamated Conspiracy Theory Factory to fabricate a new item that makes a nefarious effort to link the ideas that college educated liberals support teachers’ unions and that high school dropouts who may not have had courses where they learned to dissect a frog are the staunchest critics of the global warming evidence presented by “scientists.”  What possible connection could they suggest at the aforementioned factory?  Doesn’t it sound stupid to think that the longer a person stays in school the more likely it will be that they think that all polar bears (<I>Ursis maritimus</I>) will eventually drown in the Artic Sea?  Can we get a WTF?

Isn’t it great that after President Obama lectured the Congressional Black Caucus and told them that they should take Archie Bunker’s advice to “Stifle!,” his ardent Liberal critics (such as Mike Malloy) didn’t resort to a trite metaphor about making them eat some cookies that carry a racial slur connotation in their brand name? 

Someday we are going to write a column about the list of radio personalities that became cultural phenomenon.  We can remember hearing Arthur Godfrey, Don McNeill, Cousin Brucie, Harry Harrison, and Dr. Demento.  We seem to remember that Don Sherwood had a brief gig at a Lake Tahoe radio station and we heard one or two examples of that show.  AM radio reception in the Tahoe basin was poor but Wolfman Jack came in loud and clear.  We were too young to have the chance to hear Father Coughlin.  We missed Jean Sheppard.  Liberals and Conservatives have diametrically opposed reasons for listening to Mike Malloy, but someday we are going to put on our Pop Culture hat and do a column asserting that as theUSAmorphed from democracy to fascism, Malloy functioned as the last Liberal voice standing. 

Someday folks who were youngsters during the Obama era will be reading history books (are they on the endangered species list yet?) and might regret that they had the chance to hear what a Liberal rant sounded like but that they put it off and thereby missed a chance to participate in cultural history as it was happening.

We assumed that the unwashed phenomenon performing at the Village Gate would always be there and we intend to catch it next time we are in the Big Apple.

We didn’t realize how long it would take but since we assumed that Lou Reed and the Velvet Underground would always be the house band at Maxwell’sKansas City, we figure that we should go there at the next available opportunity.

Can you hear Radio Caroline on the Internets?

Should one of the Internets radio sites call itself XERB dot com?

Why did Liberal media types hail the British Invasion of America in the Sixties and condemn the American Invasion of Iraq in the Bush era?

Why don’t the Conservative trolls refute the assertion that the current Republican game plan sounds like a “Waiting for Godot” revival and that existentialism and Theater of the Absurd are close approximations of Republican values?

Speaking of “Waiting for Godot,” some skeptics have challenged our contention that JEB will be the Republican Presidential nominee in 2012.  When is he going to make his move?

Why is it that, when the Rolling Stones, who have touring down to a fine science, are scheduled to take the stage at a concert, they always run late?  The audience gets restless and rowdy and just when the crowd seems on the verge of a spontaneous riot, the announcer (who did they get to replace Bill Graham?) will introduce the world’s greatest band and the crowd will give them a very enthusiastic reception.  Could Karl Rove be intending to do the same thing for JEB?

Remember the time inLos Angeleswhen Bill Graham told the crowd that if they didn’t stop booing Prince, they wouldn’t get the Stones?  Boy, that shut the rude boys up real fast.

The is a folk axiom that says “If you can remember the Sixties, you weren’t really there.”  Back then people had to work hard to be well informed about the contemporary culture.  The Village Voice, theBerkeleyBarb, and the L. A. Free Press worked diligently to keep people informed about what was happening.  The older WWII vets thought that the kids and their opposition to “Tricky Dick” were amusing.

People who rely on Fox Views to be well informed might some day look back on the Bush-Obama era and realize that there was an ideological explanation for questions about why theOccupy Wall Streetmovement didn’t get noticed by the mainstream media until there some good old Sixties-style mass arrests were made.

Political chicanery may be ubiquitous but it is never amusing – except to existentialist cynics.  Fool the voters once, shame on you.  Fool them every time and it is time to reassure the rubes that the electronic voting machines are unhackable. 

The Cain win inFloridais exhibit A for making the case that the Republicans are not racists.  The Obama win in 2008 is exhibit A for proving that the results from the electronic voting machines are reliable. 

Part of Karl Rove’s strategy has always been to attack the opposition’s strong point.  Does that mean that if JEB is nominated his ads will feature a sound byte of his brother’s quote:  “If this were a dictatorship, it’d be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I’m the dictator.”?

Now the disk jockey will play the Del Vikings “Don’t get slick on me,” the Kink’s “Who will be the next in line,” and Jerry Lee Lewis’ “What a heck of a mess.”  We have to go find our draft card.  Have a veto proof type week.