Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

On the Road to the Bloggers’ Hall of Fame

October 27, 2009

If Jack Kerouac were alive today, it seems quite likely that since he liked to be in the avant-garde contingent of contemporary writers, he would be blogging, but what sort of items would he deem worthy of his attention?  Would he point out the fact that after serving seven years as President, George W. Bush’s apologists were stoutly advocating the idea that some problems were the result of  Bill Clinton’s policies but a mere 8 months after President Barack Obama was sworn in, those same Republican folks were firmly maintaining that now all of America’s current problems are the results of the new President’s agenda? 

Perhaps Jack Kerouac would point out that the fact that Clinton had a long lasting effect and that the new President had quickly taken control might be a subtle indication that Bush’s interim period had been ineffective and impotent.  Do Republicans’ really want to imply that the USA’s first Negro President was a virile buck who has put his mark on world affairs that quickly and that Bush never managed to achieve that in seven years?  

After reading “Why Kerouac Matters,” by John Leland, this columnist realizes that a misperception had formed.  This reader had leaped to the assumption that Kerouac would sympathize with the political views of writers like Paul Krasner, Art Kunkin (of Los Angeles Free Press fame), or Hunter S. Thompson.  Such a surmise is very wrong.  Leland asserts that millions of Kerouac’s readers have misunderstood what Kerouac was saying.

Leland postulates that the father of the Beatnik movement actually held strong conservative convictions as far as political philosophy was concerned.  The literary critic then doles out the evidence to back up his contention.  (See page 28 in particular.)

Kerouac did not inject many (if any) references to the Korean War in his novels.

Who will win the Series?  Although Kerouac’s name was synonymous with New York City, he didn’t seem to care much about pro sports let alone root for the Dodgers, Giants, or Yankees.

For as much traveling as Kerouac did, he hardly ever extols tourist attractions.  He seemed to concentrate on jazz, drinking, and sex.  That and his spiritual visions endeared him to the hippies and they assumed that his mystical moments constituted permission to experiment with mind altering drugs. 

Would Kerouac have blogged about topics which were not to be found on the Internet, such as the hypothetical “Bloggers’ Hall of Fame,” or would he have extolled patriotic approval of all of George W. Bush’s war crimes?  What would you expect of someone whose hero was William F. Buckley?

If someone doesn’t start the Blogger’s Hall of Fame, what good is blogging?

How can a blogger compare the Golden Gate Bridge to the Sydney Harbor Bridge if he doesn’t make the effort to see and walk across both of them?  Why state a conclusion if there is no chance that the results won’t take the blogger a step closer to just getting nominated for a place in such a hypothetical institution?

Kerouac said “Why must I always travel from here to there as if it mattered where one is?” 

Isn’t the answer the same as the one to the question about why did that guy climb Mount Everest; “Because it’s there!”?

Kerouac did rewrites and polished his work and presented one draft of “On the Road” on one long continuous sheet of paper as if it were a product of a spontaneous burst of creative energy.  He gave encouragement to bloggers who tends to write fast and post in haste by saying:  “Why let your internalized high school English teacher edit what God gave you?”

Speaking of putting a roll of teletype paper into your typewriter and starting a marathon of keystroking, the folks at National Novel Writing Month (http://www.nanowrimo.org/) are about to start their annual November typa-thon competiton.  Kerouac wannabes, you have been given ample notification.

Can you just imagine a talk show chat featuring Jack Kerouac and fellow conservative Ann Coulter?

Just before the posting process for this column was started, a quick bit of fact checking shows that the site for the annual blog awards (http://2009.bloggies.com/) contains a notation for repeat winners that they are considered to be at the Hall of Fame level of achievement. 

Who would get a link on a Kerouac Blog?  How about the teacher going around the world on a bicycle? 
(http://teacherontwowheels.com/) Talk about a road trip.

Why did this columnist and so many others leap to assumptions about Kerouac if the ideas weren’t in the words?  Leland leaves the questions about the possibility that those messages were present on the subconscious level and thereby more effectively communicated, to other future critics-analysts.

After reading Leland’s book, a re-read of “On the Road” seems quite likely.

“Why Kerouac Matters” doesn’t have an Index.  (Boooo!)  Somewhere in the book, didn’t Leland mention a jazz composition titled “Kerouac”?  Without an Index, that fact slips through the existentialist’s time warp and disappears into the either.  An Index would also help to determine which of George Shearing’s tracks Kerouac liked and which he didn’t because he thought they showed a new attitude of cool and commercial.

In “On the Raod,” Kerouac wrote:  “He said we were a band of Arabs coming to blow up New York.”

Now, the disk jockey will play Dexter Gordon and Wardell Gray’s “The Hunt,” Prez Prado’s “Mambo Jambo,” and Slim Gaillard’s “C-Jam Blues.”  It’s time for us to bop out of here.  Have a “Go moan for man” type week.

Tracking Kerouac’s Ghost

September 29, 2009

This columnist’s attempt to emulate Jack Kerouac didn’t start last October first when we walked away from our former digs in the Mar Vista section of Los Angeles and set out to become a digital beatnik.  Becoming a blogger on the road was an inconceivable concept when we tried hitchhiking across the USA during the Sixties.  Our most recent effort to renew the quest was more like a chance to put it into high gear.  We have always been vaguely aware that it was a mythical task and not something like trying to gather material for use in a doctoral thesis.  Picking up a copy of John Leland’s <I>Why Kerouac Matters</I> made the option of rejecting the facts about one of the Beat Generation’s founding fathers a necessity.  How can free spirits possibly take a political conservative as a role model?

Leland makes a heroic effort to debunk the life of the guy who spawned the efforts of a generation’s groovy efforts to establish a culture of peace, love, and understanding.  It’s easier to hold on to one’s illusions than to read the effort to prove that <I>On the Road</I> was a paean to conservative values.  As Leland says on page 60:  “It is a point seldom acknowledged that <I>On the Road</I>, a slacker bible for the last half century, begins with career counseling and a lecture on the Protestant work ethic.”

Jack London, Robert Louis Stevenson, Walt Whitman, Ernie Pyle (when he was a columnist and not a war correspondent), and Woody Guthrie had laid the foundation for the establishment of a footloose and fancy free faction of post war American culture and so if the hippies missed Kerouac’s point when they read his detailing of the adventures of Sal Paradise and Dean Moriarity.

Finding a fellow in Canberra who claimed to have traveled back in time and served as the <a href =http://worldslaziestjournalist.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/shroudman-update/>model for the creation of the image on the Shroud of Turin</a> was more in keeping with our quest than having Leland point out that “On the Road” starts with guidance counseling about establishing a firm work ethic.

Last October we honed in on a visit to the Beat Museum.  A year later we went back to put an idea in the suggestion box.  The proprietor seemed very interested in the idea and we will get back to that in a future column after his “yea or nay” decisions has been made.

Shortly after this year’s (annual?) hajj to the Beatnik’s Mecca, we came up with a question.  The Beat Museum gift shop has a cornucopia of relevant books  which folks like to peruse.  After we walked away we realized that there might be an even better idea to drop in the comments box.  If Jack Kerouac spawned the coffee house fad, why doesn’t the Beat Museum start their own brand of coffee (call it “Jack’s Java”?) and sell cups at their Columbus Ave bricks and mortar location.  It would be imperative for it to offer free wi-fi connections so that a tsunami of “guess where I am” type blog entries that could be posted with the “reporting live from the Beat Museum in San Francisco” label attached.

It has taken a year to refine the latest formula for becoming a (digital) beatnik and so it seems imperative to use the next year to continue the quest.  Instead of buying a round trip ticket to Sydney, this time around it seems more efficient to buy a one way ticket to Oz. 

New Zealand is raised to a “must” level.  We’ve always heard only good things about New Zealand.  Some people like NYC; some don’t.  Some People like L. A.; some don’t.  Never have we heard a discouraging word about New Zealand.  More sailors jump ship (according to hearsay evidence) than in any other country in the world.  That tells you something.

This time, rather than doing an about-face in Perth, we could buy a one-way ticket and continue West to . . . Prague?  It would be a case of following the Perth to Prague to Paris path.

Recently, we were rather harsh in our comments on snapshots and despite the fact that it isn’t part of this columnist’s <I>modus operandi</I>, we immediately noticed that some old snapshots we had found for sale in a flea market held a hypnotic fascination for us.

A snapshot of a lady onboard a ship with the handwritten caption “<a href =http://worldslaziestjournalist.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/shroudman-update/>Spring 1942</a>” inspired intensive speculation about the circumstances that instigated that trip for her.  Maybe after we revisit Perth, see Prague, Berlin, Munich, our high school classmate who lives near Frankfort, Paris, London (?), Ireland, and then cash in on an offer to crash in Vermont next September, then, perhaps, we could use that snapshot to inspire a work of fiction.

Snapshots of Hemingway, F. Scot Fitzgerald, and family and friends are valuable historic documents and for those getting their picture taken, they can serve as a subliminal expression of faith and encouragement.  It’s a way to reassure members of your posse that you are certain that they will become famous and their photos will be avidly sought by biographers. 

Some recluses such as B. Traven, Thomas Pynchon, and J. D. Salinger, actively avoid (like the Amish?) having their photos taken.  Imitating writers who have posed for photos or not is a personal choice and not an essential vocational decision, eh?

A year ago, the use of the President (at that time) was admonishing journalists for using the word “recession.”  This year, the word “depression” is being included in assessments of President Bush’s replacement, so perhaps another year of gathering photos and quick notes from various places outside of Los Angeles’ city limits might be an acceptable reason for not being as vociferous in our criticism of the occupant of the White House as we were over a year ago.

Don’t the French have an old saying about the more you try to implement a “Change” agenda, the less your legacy will be?

Hmmm.  Let’s think this through.  Conservatives, such as Rush Limbaugh, are getting scads of money to denigrate (is that a racist term?) the President.  This columnist can write some scathing comments about “to surge or not to surge in Afghanistan, that is the question,” (for a great deal less money than el Rushbo gets) or we can check out the veracity of the statement we heard in Fremantle:  “In Ireland, in the summer, the rain is warm; in winter it’s cold.” 

Gee, it seems that it might be more fun to get to Koolgardie and go on one of the local metal detector scavenger hunts in the nearby desert than to write a tepid “second the motion” columns that reinforce criticism of the guy who is continuing the implementation of George W. Bush’s war policy.

Literary scholars have not revealed much, if any, commentary in the Kerouac notebooks about Korea, Eisenhower, or the dog Checkers.  Who has a bigger literary reputation in Paris, these days:  Kerouac or Drew Pearson?

When does the Metropole Paris web site hold their weekly <a href =http://www.metropoleparis.com/aclub.html> meetings</a>?  Do we need a reservation for next June?

Leland gives readers (on page 17) this Kerouac quote:  “The things I write about are what an editor usually throws away and what a psychiatrist finds most interesting.”

Now, the disk jockey will play “Around the World” and we will commence efforts to post this via wi-fi from the Berkeley Public Library South Branch.  Have a “do what you said you were gonna do” type week.

Propagating a Bogus Prediction

May 26, 2009

It is widely accepted as common knowledge that the blogging phenomenon will kill off the newspapers.  That axiom has been rolling around the Internets since day 1.  There’s only one thing wrong with unquestioning adherence to that old saw:  it doesn’t make one damn bit of sense.  Anyone who has ever watched the staff of a newspaper work furiously to cover a breaking story knows that thinking that one lone eagle blogger can match the effort of a team of professionals is an example of daft thinking raied to the tenth power.  

Let’s use the example of . . . oh, let’s say that Santa Monica has a newspaper called the Outlook and let’s say that a two engine private airplane on landing  approach to the local airport has an accident and slams into a home and a fire is started.  Some people get killed, and ambulances take others to a nearby emergency room..

A photographer will be sent to the scene to get some photo coverage.  A reporter will go along with him to talk to witnesses.  Another reporter will be sent to get a statement and some damage estimates from the spokesperson from the Santa Monica Fire Department.  Yet another reporter will try to get a statement and some facts and damage estimates from the top policeman at the scene of the accident.  A reporter will call the local FAA tower to see if they can find out just exactly what kind of airplane it was that crashed.  Another reporter calls around to the local hospitals to find out where precisely the injured were taken and how many were there and how badly were they injured.

The city desk will coordinate the scheduling of getting the pages ready and to the press on time.  Perhaps, they can arrange to send the business and comics pages out earlier than usual and shuffle the items on the production line in “the shop.”

While all that is going on they send word to the guy in the newspaper library (AKA “the morgue”) that they want clips about any similar accidents that may have happened in the past.

The city desk will coordinate all these efforts into one big story or one news story and a few side-bar stories plus the photos, and redo the front page layout.  The story will include the time it happened, the kind of plane it was, the names of those killed, the number and description of  injuries of those taken to the hospital, an estimation of the dollar amount for the fire damage and  perhaps the summer inter will churn out a quick sidebar about a similar accident that happened in the area, ten years ago. Oh -  did someone take a moment to call the AP and advise them about what was happening and what photo coverage will be available? 

Sometimes police officials seem a bit reluctant to give information to reporters with an LAPD issued press pass, but the wide eyed optimists think that somehow, they will, in the future, be more than glad to tell some blogger the name of a person who got killed.  They are also assuming that fire department and hospital spokespersons will follow suit.

There may be a time when some blogger posts a scoop about such an airplane accident on L. A.’s Westside, but this “replace” misconception also assumes that when a blog posts something, the whole world sees it.  If a well read, news oriented, L. A blog (such as <a href =http://www.laobserved.com/>L. A. Observed</a>) were to post such an item, it would be widely known very quickly, but if a blog that gets very little readership scores a scoop, won’t the people in the area who want to know the details about what happened, have to go to a newspaper or a radio station or a TV news report? 

What about the times when people with an LAPD press credential have to apply several days ahead of time with the Secret Service to get approval to cover a scheduled appearance by either the President or the Vice-President?  Do you really foresee bloggers getting clearance to cover such an event?  If bloggers are going to replace newspapers, isn’t that going to be how things will be done in the future?

Not bloody well likely you say?  If you do not believe this wonderful “triumph of the underdog” scenario, then shouldn’t you skedaddle over to your computer and type up a skeptical debunking of “Bloggers Revolutionizing Journalism” misconception and send it off to the Oped Editor of the New York Times?  Wouldn’t they just love to turn the tide and reverse the commonly held perception that such amazing online efforts are being churned out routinely and have put the management of the various big newspapers in a tizzy?  Heck, if you can turn the tide for this misconception, maybe the Newspaper Publishers Association will make you the guest of honor at their next convention.

If someone used an extremely sincere voice and tried to convince this columnist that he could do better than the staff of the local daily newspaper, it would seem to indicate one of two possibilities:  either the person was trying to use flattery to manipulate the columnist (how much money did you want to “borrow”?) or that the person was very, very stupid. 

If you think that the effort done by a professional team can outscore an amateur’s best attempts almost every time, then why are you repeating the crap about bloggers hammering the nails into (a collective) coffin for newspapers?

If the odds for the bloggers dominating next year’s Pulitzer Prize competition seem anemic to you, then your next offering to the Oped Page Editor should be your conjecture about who is spreading that misconception and why are they doing it?  Aren’t they always looking for a logical, eloquent, well reasoned, rebuttal of a common misperception? 

Once the skeptical voices of Bush bashing newspaper pundits disappear from contemporary American culture, won’t Fox New TV be very happy to fill the void?  Could they “sell” America on the idea of restoring the Bush dynasty and giving Jeb a win in the following Presidential election?  We won’t know unless they give it their best try. 

When the founding fathers were working to establish a king-less democracy weren’t they adamant about providing the voters with concise, accurate information about political issues?  Who (other than one particular TV news network) would want to disseminate bogus information?  Who would want to stifle the process of duplicating the miracle of the loaves and fishes with a commodity called “the truth”?  Do the conservatives seem fanatical about eliminating “pro-liberal” newspapers from the cultural scene?  Why do you suppose they would want to do that?  Do they really care about “accuracy” in journalism or are they just seeking control over what you know before an election is held?

If you do write a myth-busting outrageous freelance effort to send off to the New York Times Oped Page Editor, please wear a flack jacket because, if it gets accepted and printed, the conservatives are going to fill the airwaves with the assertion that you are a “conspiracy theory lunatic” and that your assertion is unworthy of any amount of attention at all. 

So you better pepper your effort with plenty of quotes and experts’ opinions (one trouble – if they back a liberals’ contention then automatically, for the conservatives, they become unacceptable as a scholarly source) but what the heck, if a lone blogger can put the city desk of (hypothetically) the Santa Monica Outlook to shame, after an airplane crashes in Mar Vista, then you can write an Oped piece and get a wonderful check for your effort with no problems. 

What if “they” have infiltrated the ranks of management at the New York Times and “they” refuse to accept your efforts because “they” don’t want to refute the assertion that bloggers will put them out of business some day soon.

Yes, bloggers will keep newspaper reporters “on their toes” by catching fact checking errors, and while they may occasionally scoop news organizations with a brief about a breaking story, a one man operation will never be able to outperform a team effort.

The freelance fact checking will not replace the criticism (it may augment it) done by folks such as the Columbia Review of Journalism, because the CRJ folks know much more about quality journalism than most bloggers and so the CRJ people will be able to criticize reporters job performances much more knowledgably than Joe the Blogger.  One or two good gotcha examples of fact-checking don’t make someone a journalism critic.

Ken Kesey wrote:  “You get your visions through whatever gate you’re granted.” 

Now, the disk jockey will have the Mills Brothers urge blogers to “be sure it’s true when you say . . .” and we will do our imitation of the Cheshire Cat.  Have a “Blogger scoops the New York Times!” type week.

Go Dirtbags! ! !

May 19, 2009

The Long Beach  State baseball team is called “The Dirtbags.”

http://dirtbagsbaseball.blogspot.com/

So if you know a dirtbag or a dirtbag fan you can get them an official Dirtbag T-shirt.  Since Long Beach isn’t too far away, it may be time to go there and get me one of those T-shirts.

Why not . . . ?

May 3, 2009

There is a book of police mug shots out and that prompted us to come up with a suggestion:

Since many of the best star’s booking mug shots come from the camera used by the Malibu station for the L. A. County Sherrif, why don’t they (at the next civic charity fund raising event) take photos with that camer for a fee that  would help build the total take.  Many of the people who live in Malibu would get a perverse kick out of helping a worthy cause and being imoratalized by the very same camera that took the (world famous?) picutre of Mel Gibson when he was booked at the Malibu substation.

Too bad Andy Warhol isn’t still alive so that he could put his “take” on the famous mug shots, eh?

If the Los Angeles Sherrif’s Dept could cut throught the paperwork and actually to this bit of charity fund raising, who wouldn’t want to get one for placing over their mantel? 

(Note:  the famous mug shot of Gary Busey

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_CSmsEIWZS8g/R8-nXMVXpUI/AAAAAAAAAvg/5yzUwZYD9rA/s400/gary%2Bbusey.jpg

may have been taken with another camera.)

Worse than my spelling?

April 28, 2009

The Huffingtonpost is (Tuesday at 4 p.m. PDT) running this headline:

FAA Memo: Feds New NYC Flyover Would Cause Panic

Did they mean that the Feds Knew that the flyover would mean that there would be no need for laxatives in New York on Monday?

Gosh, those New Yorkers don’t seem to believe that George W. Bush made it safer for all of us, do they?

Zen and the Art of Apathy

April 22, 2009

Que sera sera.

Photos for Jane S.

April 1, 2009
Empty

Empty

This building in Sacramento was used for a state agency, but they just moved.

Photos for Jane S.

April 1, 2009
Empty

Empty

This building in Sacramento was used for a state agency, but they just moved.

Aussie Drinking Game

January 6, 2009
Oz drinking

Oz drinking

An Australia drinking game involves taping a drink to the contestant’s hand.  This entry in the Summer Nats 2009, held recently in Canberra, shows what the taped drink bit looks like.